April 20, 2012
Well I got distracted and forgot to come back and finish. So I'll just move on
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Day One of the NEW ME
April 19, 2012
I am new to blogging but thought maybe this would be a way to help myself achieve my goals. I am a 37 year old morbidly obese woman suffering from Major Depression and more than one anxiety disorder. I also have asthma and have been a smoker for 25 years. So basically I have abused my body for most of my life. I spent the last six days in the hospital for my asthma where I was told if I didn't quit smoking I would be walking around with an oxygen tank in a few years. I've obviously always known I was harming my body with my behavior, but that really hit home. I haven't had a cigarette in 9 days but I've quit before. Staying quit is my problem. I guess now when I want to cave I'll picture myself with that oxygen.
As for my weight, I have been overweight since around 7 years old. In 8th grade at 14 years old I weighed about 200 pounds. Now I weigh 307 pounds. I have tried to lose weight before and have yo-yo'd between 250 and 300 since high school. I always end up discouraged with lack of progress. When stuck in a hump I usually give up. I hate to exercise and with the combination of obesity and asthma I get short of breath quickly. Oh not to mention the smoking along with those two.
The depression and anxiety make getting motivated very hard for me. This is genetic for me; I come from a long line of unhappy people. Lucky for me more is known and more medicine is available. But it is definitely a limitation in life. I have social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia but I am not housebound. It does make it hard to just take a walk around the neighborhood or go to the gym. I feel like everyone is watching and judging me.
Now it's time to move forward. If I ever want to have a normal life it has to be now. I've never been married...hell I've never been in a relationship. Never let anyone get that close and I've realized recently that is because I push anyone away before they can hurt me. So I can no longer continue how I am. This is not who I ever wanted to be. So NO MORE!!!! Its time to stop hurting myself and time to start loving myself.
Would love to hear from anyone dealing with any of these issues. Maybe we can all get it done together!!!!
I am new to blogging but thought maybe this would be a way to help myself achieve my goals. I am a 37 year old morbidly obese woman suffering from Major Depression and more than one anxiety disorder. I also have asthma and have been a smoker for 25 years. So basically I have abused my body for most of my life. I spent the last six days in the hospital for my asthma where I was told if I didn't quit smoking I would be walking around with an oxygen tank in a few years. I've obviously always known I was harming my body with my behavior, but that really hit home. I haven't had a cigarette in 9 days but I've quit before. Staying quit is my problem. I guess now when I want to cave I'll picture myself with that oxygen.
As for my weight, I have been overweight since around 7 years old. In 8th grade at 14 years old I weighed about 200 pounds. Now I weigh 307 pounds. I have tried to lose weight before and have yo-yo'd between 250 and 300 since high school. I always end up discouraged with lack of progress. When stuck in a hump I usually give up. I hate to exercise and with the combination of obesity and asthma I get short of breath quickly. Oh not to mention the smoking along with those two.
The depression and anxiety make getting motivated very hard for me. This is genetic for me; I come from a long line of unhappy people. Lucky for me more is known and more medicine is available. But it is definitely a limitation in life. I have social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia but I am not housebound. It does make it hard to just take a walk around the neighborhood or go to the gym. I feel like everyone is watching and judging me.
Now it's time to move forward. If I ever want to have a normal life it has to be now. I've never been married...hell I've never been in a relationship. Never let anyone get that close and I've realized recently that is because I push anyone away before they can hurt me. So I can no longer continue how I am. This is not who I ever wanted to be. So NO MORE!!!! Its time to stop hurting myself and time to start loving myself.
Would love to hear from anyone dealing with any of these issues. Maybe we can all get it done together!!!!
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